The Crown of Thorns

Author:,

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113746

Total Pages:320

Viewed:502

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'When Tom Holt's on form, the world seems a much cheerier place' - SFX 'Frantically wacky and wilfully confusing ... gratifyingly clever and very amusing' - MAIL ON SUNDAY Once upon a time (or last Thursday, as it's known in this matrix) everything was fine: Humpty Dumpty sat on his wall, Jack and Jill went about their lawful business, the Big Bad Wolf did what big bad wolves do, and the wicked queen plotted murder most foul. But the humans hacked, cried havoc, shut down the wicked queen's system (mirrors 3.1) and corrupted her database - and suddenly everything was not fine at all. But at least we know that they'll all live happily ever after. Don't we? Computers and fairy tales collide to hilarious effect in the latest sparkling cocktail of mayhem, wit and wonder from the master of comic fantasy. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

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The Postmodern Fairytale

Author:Kevin Paul Smith

Publisher:Springer

ISBN:0230591701

Total Pages:198

Viewed:745

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Why is Shrek one of the greatest selling DVDs of all time? Why are shampoo advertisements based on Sleeping Beauty? Why is it that the same simple stories keep being told? This study attempts to explain why fairy tales keep popping up in the most unexpected places and why the best storytellers begin their tales with 'once upon a time'.

The Two of Swords: Volume Three

Author:K. J. Parker

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0316270873

Total Pages:416

Viewed:796

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The epic concluding volume in The Two of Swords trilogy by World Fantasy Award-winning author K. J. Parker. "Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No-one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no-one knows how it will end. The Two of Swords is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes.

The Two of Swords: Volume Two

Author:K. J. Parker

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0316253480

Total Pages:432

Viewed:1538

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Books Description:

The second volume in The Two of Swords trilogy by World Fantasy Award-winning author K. J. Parker. "Why are we fighting this war? Because evil must be resisted, and sooner or later there comes a time when men of principle have to make a stand. Because war is good for business and it's better to die on our feet than live on our knees. Because they started it. But at this stage in the proceedings," he added, with a slightly lop-sided grin, "mostly from force of habit." A soldier with a gift for archery. A woman who kills without care. Two brothers, both unbeatable generals, now fighting for opposing armies. No-one in the vast and once glorious United Empire remains untouched by the rift between East and West, and the war has been fought for as long as anyone can remember. Some still survive who know how it was started, but no-one knows how it will end. The Two of Swords is the story of a war on a grand scale, told through the eyes of its soldiers, politicians, victims and heroes.

The Proof House

Author:K. J. Parker

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113916

Total Pages:608

Viewed:415

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COLOURS IN THE STEEL and THE BELLY OF THE BOW, the first two volumes of the Fencer Trilogy, introduced a remarkable new voice in fantasy fiction. THE PROOF HOUSE is the final volume in K.J. Parker's brilliant Fencer Trilogy. After years spent in the saps under the defences of the apparently impregnable city of Ap' Iscatoy, Bardas Loredan, sometime fencer-at-law and the betrayed defender of the famed Triple City, is suddenly a hero of the Empire. His reward is a boring administrative job in a backwater, watching armour tested to destruction in the Proof House. But the fall of Ap' Iscatoy has opened up unexpected possibilities for the expansion of the Empire into the land of the Plains people, and Bardas Loredan is the one man Temrai the Great, King of the Plains tribes, fears the most... Look out for more information on this book and others on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

The Belly of the Bow

Author:K. J. Parker

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113924

Total Pages:528

Viewed:1524

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The city of Perimadeia has fallen. Bardas Loredan, the man who was supposed to save it, is now living on the Island - a recluce, living apart from his family in the mountains, with only a young apprentice for company. His life as a fencer-at-law is over. Instead, Loredon spends his days perfecting the art of bow-making. But his isolation will not last forever; and when the Island comes under attack, his skills as a soldier and general are once again called upon. COLOURS IN THE STEEL, Volume One of the Fencer Trilogy, introduced a remarkable new voice in fantasy fiction. THE BELLY OF THE BOW confirms that rich promise and establishes K. J. Parker in the top rank of writers.

Falling Sideways

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748108580

Total Pages:416

Viewed:1987

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From the moment the first Homo Sapiens descended from the trees, possibly onto their heads, humanity has striven towards civilisation. Fire. The Wheel. Running Away from furry things with big teeth and, after a great deal of time, coming back and bravely nuking their descendants from orbit, are all testament to man's ultimate ascendancy. It is a noble story, a triumph of intelligence over adversity and, of course, completely and utterly wrong. For one man believes he has discovered the hideous truth: that every great civilisation in history has, rather embarrassingly, been founded, run and then cunningly manipulated by a small gang of devious frogs. More information on this book and others can be found on the Orbit website at www.orbitbooks.co.uk

Grailblazers

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113576

Total Pages:368

Viewed:1464

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Fifteen hundred years have passed and the Holy Grail is still missing, presumed ineffable. The knights have dumped the quest and now deliver pizzas, while the sinister financial services of the lost kingdom of Atlantis threatens the universe with fiscal Armageddon.

Paint Your Dragon

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113657

Total Pages:320

Viewed:1985

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'Another imaginative and seriously funny novel from a master of the humorous fantasy genre.' - BOOKS MAGAZINE 'Only a writer like Holt could make this work quite so well, and he does with great skill. Lots of fun.' - MANCHESTER EVENING NEWS One moment Bianca's sculpture of St George is lacking just the final touches, the next, it's lacking a dragon. This is only the first step in a fight between good and evil, involving some heavyweight gamblers, a time entrepreneur, a dragon, St George, and some hideous but endearing demons. From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Alexander at the World's End

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Abacus

ISBN:0748113584

Total Pages:480

Viewed:1616

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When his father dies, and he is reduced at a stroke from prosperity to penury, Euxenus decides to leave Athens and seek his fortune elsewhere. As a philosopher and intellectual of some note, he has no difficulty getting a job as tutor to a young prince in the wealthy but utterly provincial court of King Philip of Macedon. The young prince is called Alexander, and the rest is history. Or is it? Alexander conquered Greece, Egypt and the Persian Empire in the course of eight years, amassing a huge army along the way, and leaving behind him the foundations of countless new cities named after him. He proclaimed himself a deity, and died at the age of 33. In ALEXANDER AT THE WORLD'S END, Tom Holt tells the story of two remarkable men, one of whom conquered empires and one of whom struggled to overcome the drainage problems of a small village. It is a story of two men whose paths crossed only briefly, but whose encounter changed both their lives for ever. And it is a story which throws an extraordinary new light on the man who became Alexander the Great.

Here Comes The Sun

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113614

Total Pages:288

Viewed:1132

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'This is comedy with a very wide grin' - INTERZONE 'It had both myself and the person sitting next to me on the train laughing out loud' - STARBURST All is not well with the universe - cutbacks have taken their toll, and the sun is dirty and late, thanks to being 30 billion miles overdue on its next service. None of the committees can agree on anything, and extreme measures seem called for. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

My Hero

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113649

Total Pages:320

Viewed:1877

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'On the surface, MY HERO is funny; deep down, it's smart, with lots to say about the fine line between Life and Art- and about what happens when it disappears altogether.' - MAXIM 'Witty and eccentric... dazzling, neat, frivolous.' - TIME OUT This is the story of Jane, who finds the novel she is working on starts to write back. She's already realized novel writing isn't such a piece of cake after all, and the world of fiction is a far more complicated place than she ever imagined. From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Olympiad

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Little, Brown Book Group

ISBN:0748113770

Total Pages:384

Viewed:1124

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Books Description:

Two thousand, seven hundred and seventy-six years ago a group of men ran between two piles of stones, and invented sport. If, that is, its history can be believed. The first ever Olympic Games in 776BC were apparently so memorable that all Western chronology is based on them. All we know about them is the name of the man who won the race. Over two and a half millennia later, it's about time somebody told the story. OLYMPIAD is an enthralling and beguiling historical novel full of adventure and misadventure. It will confirm Tom Holt's place as an innovative, challenging and wonderfully entertaining writer of historical fiction. Essential reading for all fans of Tom Holt and historical fiction.

Valhalla

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113797

Total Pages:288

Viewed:1555

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'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative ... Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX 'A definite must for all fans of comic fantasy' - ENIGMA As everyone knows, when great warriors die their reward is eternal life in Odin's great hall - otherwise known as Valhalla. But Valhalla has changed. It's grown. It's diversified. Just like any corporation, the Valhalla Group has had to adapt to survive. Unfortunately, nothing could have prepared it for the arrival of Carol Kortright, one-time cocktail waitress, currently dead, and not at all happy. Sparkling comic fantasy from one of Britain's sharpest, funniest writers. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Only Human

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113738

Total Pages:352

Viewed:1538

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'When Tom Holt's on form, the world seems a much cheerier place' - SFX '...both intimate and ambitious - not only human, but also divine' - DAILY TELEGRAPH Something is about to go wrong. Very wrong. What do you expect if the Supreme Being decides to get away from it all for a few days, leaving his naturally inquisitive son to look after the cosmic balance of things? A minor hiccup with a human soul and a welding machine soon leads to a violent belch, and before you know it the human condition - not to mention the lemming condition - is tumbling down the slippery slope to chaos. A dazzling comic fantasy novel from one of Britain's sharpest, funniest writers. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Blonde Bombshell

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113703

Total Pages:352

Viewed:1537

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Books Description:

'As you'd expect from Holt, Blonde Bombshell is rife with puns, complicated setups for ridiculous gags, and a riveting story that is completely implausible.' - Booklist 'BLONDE BOMBSHELL is a clever, funny, tirelessly inventive, apocalyptic leg-hump of a book. Tom Holt may be the most imaginative satirist to land on our shores since Douglas Adams' - Christopher Moore A heart-warming tale of Armageddon from one of the funniest, most original voices in comic fiction today . . . The third planet out from the star was blue, with green splodges. Dirt. Oh, the bomb thought. And then its courage, determination and nobility-of-spirit subroutines cut in, overriding everything else, adrenalizing its command functions and bypassing its cyberphrenetic nodes. Here goes, said the bomb to itself. Calibrate navigational pod. Engage primary thrusters. Ready auxiliary drive. It knew, in that moment, that its own doom was near; because it was giving itself orders, and it wasn't putting in any 'the's. That was what you did, apparently, when the moment came. You could also turn on a flashing red beacon and a siren, but mercifully these were optional. Oh #/$+! thought the bomb, and surged on towards Dirt like an avenging angel. Perfect for fans of Douglas Adams, BLONDE BOMBSHELL is the science fiction debut from Tom Holt - one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

Expecting Someone Taller

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748113800

Total Pages:224

Viewed:991

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'Crazy, absurd, complex and hilarious . . . His writing is in the same mould as that of Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and Jasper Fforde' - TheBookBag.co.uk 'Wacky humour bubbles through the polished narrative . . . Holt doesn't skimp on the flashes of brilliance' - SFX All Malcolm Fisher did was run over a badger. Unfortunately the badger turned out to be Ingolf, last of the giants. With his dying breath he reluctantly gave Malcolm two gifts of power and made him ruler of the world. From one of the best-loved comic writers in fantasy fiction comes another absurdly witty title - perfect for fans of Douglas Adams or Terry Pratchett. Books by Tom Holt: Walled Orchard Series Goatsong The Walled Orchard J.W. Wells & Co. Series The Portable Door In Your Dreams Earth, Air, Fire and Custard You Don't Have to Be Evil to Work Here, But It Helps The Better Mousetrap May Contain Traces of Magic Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Sausages YouSpace Series Doughnut When It's A Jar The Outsorcerer's Apprentice The Good, the Bad and the Smug Novels Expecting Someone Taller Who's Afraid of Beowulf Flying Dutch Ye Gods! Overtime Here Comes the Sun Grailblazers Faust Among Equals Odds and Gods Djinn Rummy My Hero Paint your Dragon Open Sesame Wish you Were Here Alexander at World's End Only Human Snow White and the Seven Samurai Olympiad Valhalla Nothing But Blue Skies Falling Sideways Little People Song for Nero Meadowland Barking Blonde Bombshell The Management Style of the Supreme Beings An Orc on the Wild Side

In Your Dreams

Author:Tom Holt

Publisher:Orbit

ISBN:0748108769

Total Pages:480

Viewed:1352

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Books Description:

Ever been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true? You know - the sort they'd be insane to be offering to someone like you. The kind where you snap their arm off to accept, then wonder why all your long-serving colleagues look secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook ... It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like J.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into. And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control ...

The Last Samurai

Author:Helen DeWitt

Publisher:New Directions Publishing

ISBN:0811225518

Total Pages:576

Viewed:508

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Called “remarkable” (The Wall Street Journal) and “an ambitious, colossal debut novel” (Publishers Weekly), Helen DeWitt’s The Last Samurai is back in print at last Helen DeWitt’s 2000 debut, The Last Samurai, was “destined to become a cult classic” (Miramax). The enterprising publisher sold the rights in twenty countries, so “Why not just, ‘destined to become a classic?’” (Garth Risk Hallberg) And why must cultists tell the uninitiated it has nothing to do with Tom Cruise? Sibylla, an American-at-Oxford turned loose on London, finds herself trapped as a single mother after a misguided one-night stand. High-minded principles of child-rearing work disastrously well. J. S. Mill (taught Greek at three) and Yo Yo Ma (Bach at two) claimed the methods would work with any child; when these succeed with the boy Ludo, he causes havoc at school and is home again in a month. (Is he a prodigy, a genius? Readers looking over Ludo’s shoulder find themselves easily reading Greek and more.) Lacking male role models for a fatherless boy, Sibylla turns to endless replays of Kurosawa’s masterpiece Seven Samurai. But Ludo is obsessed with the one thing he wants and doesn’t know: his father’s name. At eleven, inspired by his own take on the classic film, he sets out on a secret quest for the father he never knew. He’ll be punched, sliced, and threatened with retribution. He may not live to see twelve. Or he may find a real samurai and save a mother who thinks boredom a fate worse than death.